Shatner Rules…pg 93 (cont’d)

Translation of what William Shatner just said:

I haven’t seen the movie. Remember? I don’t watch myself, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to start by watching try and speak in Esperanto. And a few months after we wrapped, I was sitting in the make up chair at Star Trek, when a rock came crashing through the trailer window.

I did a tuck and roll (something I used to find an excuse to do quite frequently during the shooting of the that show), dusted myself off, and picked up the rock. (I then proceeded to throw my back out, because most of the rocks I was used to picking up on Star Trek were Styrofoam).

In great pain, I noticed a note attached to the projectile. Reading it, I was greeted with the words YOUR NEXT SHATNER! THE ESPERANTISTS! I initially snorted at the writer’s use of “your” rather than “you’re,” but then I realized I didn’t know Esperanto that well—perhaps they had done away with that contraction. (Probably something most English speakers wish we would do, too. Your sick of contractions, arent you?)

The note went on to explain that The Esperantists were angry they weren’t consulted during the course of the film, and “ticked off” they hadn’t been invited to the premiere. Also, several autograph requests made to my office had gone unanswered. Either way, they decided to curse Incubus, and anyone who laid eyes on the film.

NOTE: The film was probably most-warmly received and widely viewed in France. Curses aren’t a big deal there. After all, you already spend most of your life there surrounded by the French!

I took it upon myself to destroy every copy of Incubus I could find. During a hiatus from the show. Seriously. I wasn’t going to rush into this one. I mean, how evil can the Esperantists be? They have pledged themselves to world peace through the commonality of language.

And as time has gone by, I’ve learned that fluent Klingon speakers are a bit more of a handful. Anyway, back to English…

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